Thoughts from a (my) father
Guest post by Dr Brian (aka Jeune Street Daddy)
I’m proud of my sons, and I’m a bit of an Obamaddict. While reading an interview with America’s new First Lady in the intellectual’s favorite grocery store check-out magazine ‘O’, I was struck by one quote. Michelle was answering a question from Oprah about her girls: What are you most proud of in terms of raising them?
“They’re kind – to each other, and to other children. It’s important to me that they have empathy. I want them to be able to think, Well, I could see how that person feels and why that would hurt. And to make decisions not just based on their own needs but on what’s going on around them.”
I thought, wouldn’t every parent be proud of their children manifesting just that one virtue most of the time? And if every parent, aided by their community, inculcated in every child just that one virtue, then every politician, every financier, and every scientist would at least acknowledge if not always practice that most human of virtues – one that distinguishes us from animals. Discussion would be elevated, genocide would be eliminated, economies would function, and science would be ethical.
Then I thought, Michelle you are a wise woman, where did you learn to parent like that? It must have been from her parents, and reinforced by her church community. Religion is the only power that has proven capable through the millennia of implanting that virtue – empathy – in the hearts of women and men. Every religion teaches a version of that Golden Rule.
Religion is the power directing positive human social evolution, not our genes. Men are imperfect so, like natural selection, new religions have appeared periodically and have thrived when they addressed the particular needs of their time and place. Today a religion can only survive if it addresses the needs of a tottering world civilization … and is able to truly inculcate in its members and leaders the newest version of the Golden Rule: “Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself.”
I would draw our attention to the fact that in these golden rules, listed in the graphic, we actually see a progression. Not only the phrasing changes (and this could be an accident of many languages and translations) but the emphasis changes.
The straight equity of the classic golden rule changes by the time we reach the Bahá’í version, where desiring for our brother that which we desire for ourselves is supplanted by actually preferring our brothers to ourselves. From equity to sacrifice.
Brian,
I absolutely agree with you that empathy is an important virtue that should be taught to our children. However, by stating that religion is the only power proven to implant that virtue, you shut yourself off from considering other points of view and insult many good people who have gone to great trouble to instill this virtue in their children. Not very empathetic of you.
You’ve also chosen to ignore the science. A person’s empathy towards others rises in direct proportion to the level of oxytocin in their brain. Ocytocin is produced naturally during sexual arousal and childbirth. It is also produced when one views images of someone else in distress.*
Empathy is crucial to the survival of our species, and we are very much genetically programmed to be empathetic. This does not relieve loving parents from their duty to teach their kids of it’s importance. If one chooses to use religion to help with that, fine, but it is certainly not necessary.
*”Ocytocin Increases Generosity In Humans” – Paul Zak et al, published in the November 2007 issue of PLoS ONE
Thanks for your comments, Bruce. I didn’t mean to insult you or anyone else. I admire and love your kids and they prove your point. What I intended to mean was that religion has been the original historical source for teaching empathy and other virtues. I was wrong to say it is the “only” power – the Golden Rule is not only a religious truth but an ethical and moral philosophy truth.
Your point about oxytocin is interesting – I didn’t know that, but it makes sense. Many of our behaviours are genetically programmed and also modified by our environment. Not all are ‘good’ behaviours (most babies are selfish) and you’re right we have a duty to teach our kids to develop their positive virtues. I don’t believe our genes are our destiny.
Baha’u'llah said “Regard man as a mine rich in gems of inestimable value. Education can, alone, cause it to reveal its treasures, and enable mankind to benefit therefrom.”
We can all keep learning.