Jeune Street

Todd May offers a simple, sophisticated, and perceptive meditation on friendship in an age of economics:

We might say of friendships that they are a matter not of diversion or of return but of meaning. They render us vulnerable, and in doing so they add dimensions of significance to our lives that can only arise from being, in each case, friends with this or that particular individual, a party to this or that particular life.

It is precisely this non-economic character that is threatened in a society in which each of us is thrown upon his or her resources and offered only the bywords of ownership, shopping, competition, and growth. It is threatened when we are encouraged to look upon those around us as the stuff of our current enjoyment or our future advantage. It is threatened when we are led to believe that friendships without a recognizable gain are, in the economic sense, irrational. Friendships are not without why, perhaps, but they are certainly without that particular why.

May, following Aristotle, identifies three types of friendships: pleasure friendships, entrepreneurial friendships (think 'networking'), and true friendships. I think the hallmark of 'true friendship' is its orientation to the other. In the first two types, one is self-serving, while true friendship is concerned with the welfare of others. This reminds me of 'Abdu'l-Baha's description of the ideal relationship in a marriage:

They are two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other. If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favour...